DEAN LIST !! I MADE IT GUYS !

assalamualaikum and hye

since i am uitm's student,

everyone is aware that uitm's result is out few couple hours ago on 0000.

as always student portal have always been so lag. server down tak pandai habis like i gotta check my result on apps pun akhirnya lmao. so dengan takutnya and dengan bacaan bismillah and selawat sebanyak mungkin sepanjang loading tu.

tunggu tunggu,

tu diaaaaaaaaaaaa

alhamdulillah ya allah syukur sangatttt !! i was shocked and speechless because i was quite convinced that my pointer is gonna drop even more. people been saying i can get dean list this time but for surely i know myself better. allah knows how i really thought that i will drop so much this time but 😭😭😭😭😭😭 alhamdulillah sangat ya allah for this opportunity. i tak pernah rasa dapat dean list ever in my life. my friends know how much i CRAVE to get it. 

even right now, i am still in disbelief that i managed to achieved it. likeeee ??? IS THIS EVEN REAL ??? idk brooo i dont know,, someone slap tf outta me please so i know this is real. oh my god i am blessed. 

 

WHY I THOUGHT IM GOING TO HAVE A BAD RESULT ?

i struggled way too much for this 3rd semester. in the beginning i was quite perform in all quiz and tests until it was kinda messed up and jumbled up at the end of the semester. i was having a difficult time to stay focus. i was so tired i didnt have any descent/enough sleep or basically i didnt sleep for almost two months because of so many assignments tests quiz(s) all at the same time. u can say i looked like a zombie macam mayat hidup tahu tak.

not to mention how i kinda screwed up on final examination. there was this one day on one of my subject, my brain was shutted down for numerous times, i didnt realize what ive written on the answer booklet. when i realized, my writing was so bad and worst thing i was writing a non related content about that subject on essay quiestion,, like can u imagine ???? i was dazed out like i tak sedar langsung i tulis benda lain. see ? how tired my brain was. 

my other papers were quite fine but theres always here and there that is difficult.

well, aside from all the struggles, my reason to think that result i akan teruk is because of how i actually struggled for literally every single of 3rd semester's subjects. last semester i was struggling with only one subject which i was targetting for dean list but didnt make it. and here goes my assumptions, if last semester i was only strugglimg with only one subject but my result was so bad, what does it makes me to achieve a good GPA for the 3rd semester on which i struggled for every single of the subjects. 

OTHER'S REACTION

the moment i perasan abah belum tidur lagi i terus keluar bilik and hugged him. i told abah i have finally achieve dean list and cried my eyes out. i also told him that i never expect that i managed to achieved it. abah said to me "alhamdulillah nakkk, thankyou so much sayang, mak abah banyak doa kan untuk u. mak la rajin bacakan yassin time u exam" :")))) abah thanked me so much that makes me cried even moreeEEEeeEe

the next morning, i bangun2 je mak cakap "abah bagitahu mak dah, congratulation anak mak" :")))))

all my close friends also congratulate me they said that finallyyyyy sebab semua tahu cemana i sangat sangat sangat nak kan dekan before this. shoutout to one of my rommate for always saying that she targets me for a dean list this time because she said she saw me how struggled i am. haih i never believed her words but LOOK aaaaih :"))))) 

thankyou everyone that congratulates me, may Allah bless all of you and may succes always be with us every now and then. i love all of you !! 💛💛💛

perhaps the best day in my life. hehe 

DEAR MYSELF

i am sooooooooooo veryyyyyyyyyy proud of you dearself. you know yourself better than anyone else. even if any soul tells u that u were not working ur asses off, just beat tf outta them. ok jk, just stay silent alright. arguing with them is not a worth thing to do. be silent about your plans and progressions but be loud about your results. just like today. you did very great this semester !! thankyou to my brain and my physical body for always staying so strong to get through all  these sleepless night. keep up this good momentum and work harder even more. second semester was quite disappointing right ? these last two semesters lets work our ass off to lift the CGPA alright ! congratulations dearself ! i love you ♡

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If only

salam and hye,,

have you ever just in a situation where you are having your happiest moment in your life. It might not be the best one but there is something from the gathering that you really treasure and appreciate every single movements, the sound of the laughter, the big smile.

have you ?

i do.

i dont know if im just being a bit emotional but i dah lama tak rasa THIS happy. am currently having my third semester break. idk man, i was having a very rough time in the third semester, nothing was ever gone into my way. i was stressed out quite most of the time and all my friends there wont help either. 

i really missed all of my high school friends. i wish they were with me all the time to hug, to wipe the tears and told me everything is going to be alright and just fine. but no, i have to accept the reality my friends belajar jauh and i have to face all of that alone.

//250120- the source of happiness

originally nak makan dekat mcd je but tuptup dekat putrajaya,, biasalah we can never get enough of the green of nature. 

at the mcd, i was all dumb when they all started to play the lat ta lilat tali tamplom game hahaha i joined them and blabla it turns out i yang kalah. idk what im gonna face bila kalah. sekali semua tinggalkan i k. i sorang je dekat meja semua pi order tinggalkan i kurang asam.

then, one of the friend belanja i sebab i takde duit hehe but he had a mcd debt dgn i pun since long time ago so why not use the chance now aite ? alright then we had good talks, there are too many stories nak cerita and of course betch i yang paling banyak bercerita. we had good laughs hahaha suddenly i teringat time nak parking before masuk mcd ya allah kabutnya i. lama sangat tak drive kan mana tak.

then, randomly we go to the putrajaya just to feed our eyes with the green scenery but lil we did know, sangat panas ok !! tapi takpe demi gambar kita redah.

We were having so much fun that i watch one by one of their faces that the thoughts of  'what am i gonna do when they are not by my side after this ? am i still gonna be this happy ?' 

well, i dont really take part sangat in taking pictures since sangat unplan and i sangat buruk for an ootd so i just walk around and idk man i was super hyper and acted really clingy, noisy and childish. i was really feeling myself. i dont know how to describe it but it was a wonderful feeling when u can finally be yourself when theres no one to judge.

here are some of the pictures that my gal took. she iz really good with taking pictures and easily gets annoyed when u tak amik gamber dia properly hahhaha gal u should be a photographer la instead.

  

the picture down here, pretty aite ? tapi actually, i was the one who said "okayy semua gelak fake 1 2 3 !!" bodohnyaaaa halah but my gal succeed to make us looks pwettyyy hehe or probably just me ? tak kan ? hahahah

but like, really i had a lot of fun, it was such a long time since i ever feel the overjoyness in my life.

IF ONLY 

i can stop the time, i would like to stop it and enjoy this moments forever long that i want. i tell you, high school friends will never be the same as university friends, they are irreplaceable.

thankyou to these 4 that brings out the best in me, that helped me being myself. i love all of you endlessly, allah please protect them, i wish them nothing but only happiness ♡♡♡♡

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how to survive ?

assalamualaikum and hye,

i just wanna say whoever stays loyal by reading all my past nonsense stories, i love you. i didnt expect there are actually people who reads it

alright, i just finished my 2nd semester and currently iz enjoying my sem break. so, baru baru ni jugak we heard a news about there is no place for us sem 3 and above in college since the new intake sangat ramai which leads us to finding a house to rent.

after all the options and narrowed down all of it, we finally come to a decision to rent a house somewhere that is near to the campus. this whole idea of renting house, makes me think all over again. how can i survive living outside of the campus ???

dont you think it will cost so much money ? from what we have calculated, each of us needs to pay 100 something every month. and that is just that. how about my every day meal ? breakfast ? lunch ? dinner ? snacks ? other keperluan ? hoooooow dudE ???

i did have pinjaman from ptptn but that still isnt enough. tell me, every month usually we would spend at least 200. minus monthly house rent, i have like another 100. and i havent mentioned about the bus service in uitm. that bus service have the package for one month which is RM40. lets minus it from the balance of 100 that we have. i am now have about, 60. what am i gonna eat with just 60 ? 

"ala mesti nanti korang masak kan, senangla beli jela stock for one month pastu masak sendiri lagi jimat"   

sis-

if only it is that easy. from that 60 tak tolak lagi all the bills ; electric, water. 

mom, i wanna cry.

teach me, how to survive. all the past semesters, i still cant manage my money. i didnt even spent it on unimportant stuff. everything is simply my needs.

i dont know, things seems complicated. even the subjects on next semester are going to be tough. haih i dont know man.

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Training of Kesatria Negara I & PERKAD

This is a comeback after quite some time. I was a bit lazy to update anything but here i am. 

 Yea, we here in uitm have PERKAD bcs of the damn koko ugh i really hate it. i used to always skip koko during school days hahahah but since imma now university student, these things participates in ur marks for GPA/CGPA. so nak taknak ? hahahha

Anyways, this is a turning point where i realized oh i have talent in kawad and i quite like it. 

During those 12 weeks of Kesatria Negara I , it was horrible. i still remember the first week of the gathering i was mf shocked. I mean imagine la, HBU start at 4pm and we have class from 2-4pm. yOU THINK SIS ???

Dari jauh dah kena teriak dengan commander. i mean *ehem* yea commander is usually the one *ehem* who is always paling over i mean over even over daripada cikgu. but idk its their work so wtv. biasanya engkorang memang akan selalu panas la dengan comm tapi trust me diorang baik je cuma tu la hahahahh noying ciked time training.

oh yea, diorang selalu teriak ceni 

"kAU  siSwi bErLenGgAnG lAgi" "hA kAU pAnTasLahH"

 andddddd diorang sangat pantang if yall people call them akak or abang instead of comm. ive experienced this. That was when the first training la. They said whoever thinks they have make any mistake go to the back; eg; kuku berinai, rambut panjang for siswa

At that time, my nail is quite berinai gak la tapi dah nak habis pun yknow what i mean kan. so i call la one of the commander to ask if that is okay so i called her "akak" and guess what i got a reply with a "siAPa kAKak kAU" ok comm ok. 

Not to mention how ugly all of us when attending HBU training, bareface af. 

yknow when sometimes one of ur platoon messed up, the whole team got punished such as pumping and duduk separuh, did u know that hurts like hell. idk if yall know duduk separuh means, i tried to search any photo for it but cant be found so its basically macam style u buat to imitate crab and stays like that for few minutes. and i really dont feel my legs after.....

Day by day passed and we are announced to have a selection on PERKAD which means Pertandingan Kawad. At first i dont really want it like i hate it i mean cmon i need to stand under a very hot sun oow i cant burn my skin even more like no until they said if we are not part of the perkad, we need to have individual evaluation infront of instructors which is MORE SCARY bcs u are alone and yea nervous is an enemy where u can do whole of mistakes and will probably repeat hbu. who wants right ?

so, i changed my mind. 

The selection of perkad members is a very unfair to me. we have 50 person in a platoon so the commanders decided to separate us into 3 and will watch our kawad separately. to make it worse, my team were the last to perform which the other two groups have already combined and were trained by our instructor which is the head of koko. basically the most powerful person in koko things. yea he trained our platoon. so yea, the story is, when those two groups have been combined, our group been abandoned as if kitorang ni teruk la, the other two lagi bagus macam e unfair tau. time tu, comm dont even evaluate us yet. and the other two groups is almost like confirmed la for perkad. that hurts tau when i really nekad nak join perkad :")

BUT hello u cant mess with me, i do when i really want no matter what is takes.

so what i did is, whenever they the one who is already selected have night training, i still particpate though i not need to. but ive said that i want right. im quite confident that i can be selected bcs yknow sometimes those people who are already selected skip training so i think that might be my chance to steal their place hshdhs jahat ke i mean its not bad kot siapa suruh ponteng betul tak ? 

penat tu memang takyah cakapla. pagi sampai petang ada class sambyng hbu  training and then malam ada special training for perkad yea its was exhausted as hell dengan segala assignment. time tu memang wow im not even myself. mental kena kuat. 

and yeap finally ive been selected to join PERKAD !! *bigapplause* *proudofmyself*

D-DAY FOR PERKAD

The event begin with a total of 12 or 13 or 15 platoons idk cant even remember it march into the marching field. Dengar la segala ucapan dengan berdiri sangat lama tapi time tu okla bcs its still early in the morning so tak panas. seinat i, nobody fainted at this time. and then habis segala ucapan, keluar padang kawad and the first platoo to perform forst is um.... yea... our platoon. we think that our team leader have an unlucky hand yea bcs we decided whom to perform first by lucky draw. yet we are the first hmm. people around been saying to go first is the hardest bcs of the psycho.

nevertheless, it all started with a sahsiah rupa diri check. alhamdulillah semua bagus kemas, no points to miuns. soon after that, dengan bismillah, we started our marching performance. we finished it by having a big applause by other platoons. 

Platoons by platoons performs, somehow, though it was very nerve-wracking to perform first, we are relieved that we already finished performing just bcs it was still early morning and have the windy moring breeze so it feels so fresh. then, we have our rest time, basically we just sleep in the eyes of public while waiting for the lunch to served. i mean who is not tired ??? we just couldnt care less ok xD

Soon after all the platoons finished performing, we are called to gather in the marching field to listen to some speeches and watch some performance by the taekwando-commanders. berjam lamanya while berdiri dengan panasnya. we are ded. ramai pengsan weh. but then alhamdulillah cikgu give us mercy by giving us to duduk ehe, 

yes bej this is the time for announcing the winner.

yall know what, al of us just hoping for a no 3 but then the other platoon is being called when announcing the third place. so all of just got very sad bcs we know we dont have any chances. bUT THEN, when they are announcing for no 2 , holy mf sh nobody ever expect !! "ALPHA" 

woOoOOoOoo00o0W  i tell yall all of us macam orang gila menjerit bcs we never expect that result. coz yknow actually before, our teamwork isnt really good and we realu sucks at kawad like there just like 2 people who can really kawad. in addition, when we are trained, sometimes other commanders who are in charge of other platoons come and watch us and trained us. They really said that we are the worst and that we kawad like we never ever learn anything. so that kinda bring us down at  but we managed to bury all that hah. who ever expected this result ?!

we also kinda motivated by commanders been saying that since we are the platoon who are under the head of koko we must win by hook or by crook. we shouldnt make him disappointed and shame of us. though our instructor seldomly come to train us bcs hes super busy but hes such a father like when he came and train us. but commanders said, he actually  a very fierce and scary person he just being nice to us. and yea we have seen his scary side twice. onc when one of our team messed up and then when we are rehearsing for perkad. nevertheless he is a loving person <3

yea, we are very happy ! we took many pictures and congratulate our commanders bcs they got to naik pangkat so yea amd we thanked them too. our instructor looks very happy when we won. he came to us and he gave that father smile aww. 

in conclusion, i really think kawad is not bad actually. though all the training is very hard and military-like, yknow when u just finished all the trainings and the competition as well, u just felt very relieved like for me, i have zero knowledge of kawad, i always skip koko ok during my school days. it just feels so relieved and happy like idk man. and winning the competition is just a bonus. u got to know people, build trust, have a teamwork. u see each other's bare face. like a family. 

so, here are some of pictures 🎔🎔🎔 i love them so much ok 💗💗💗💗💗

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Late Night Thoughts

assalamualaikum and hye

 its been so long but today im not gonna talk too much.

well , im just asking u basically have yall ever felt so hurt like inside of ur heart ?

like its so hurt macam kena tikam pisau ?

well. that happens to me. not all the time. might as well every moments when i felt like im really not good enough and im worrying about lot of things. A LOT. 

especially , now im a university student and i pursue studies far away from my hometown. across the sea. tell me , who will not overthink about lot of things when u are far away from ur family , ur friends , and u are alone, handling things all by yourself. 

i tend to feel so hurt in my chest if im overthinking and worrying things a lil bit too much.

some of it were ;

  what if people dont like me ? the way i behave ? the way i talk ? the way i stare ? 

what if they find me annoying ? what will happen to me if people hate me ? can i survive ? do i have enough money ? can i score for dekan in every semester ? what if i lose focus ? what if i cant perform and cooperate well in group work ?

those things wont stop. and i dont have the control of my mind to even stop thinking about it. truthfully it hurts. i know i shouldnt post these but i just have the tendecy to write this then guess i should just go with it. 

how do u stay strong with that chest pain ?

 as i mentioned , not all the time i feel this. and jarang. depends on when im feeling a lil bit too sad and overthinking about so much things. "dont think la" how easy it is if it was that simple. i dont blame any of u if yall ever said that bcs i know u dont feel it. its ok. guess i should just confront and deal with it. what to do ? i guess if u are reading this , u can like give me some motivations bcs im feeling so down these days idk. 

((might probably delete this later on))

-12:24am

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JPJ TEST

eloooow , semekom , jawab cepat !

BEFORE THAT

IM WARNING YANG MANA BELUM JPJ PLS PLS PLS JANGAN BACA BCS IT MIGHT AFFECT YOU. 

i warn yall already , tapi kalau degil nak baca , u are still welcomed :)

sorry for making yall wait abt my qti results ><

further or more lets get start it shall we ?

well , alhamdulillah my qti test LULUS ! 

yknow when u see that layak diuji oleh jpj macam wohooo im so near to get my license !

ok so nak dengar cerita pasal qti ke ? tak payahla eh. just remember qti ni senang je sbb u kena test dengan penguji dekat u punya school driving jugak. but for what i experienced , penguji ni mmg dengar betul2 kau punya rpk and rsm so goodluck menghafal and mempraktikkan. senang je trust me ! 

tick tock tick tock

 D-DAY HAS COME !

2 MARCH 2018 MY JPJ TEST. 

i swear la do nervous dia memang lagi nervous daripada SPM. this is nooooot a joke or overreacting or what this is real. so sampai sampai je ur school driving or kalau mcm i dekat imkeda tu kena tgk dulu dekat dashboard depan office to see u sesi berapa and no berapa. dah tahu u kena pi la dekat tempat berkumpul tu. while waiting for JPJ to come , kau agak mereput but nervous af. 

sampai2 je pegawai jpj depa bising2 "dah sampai ni masuk la dalam dewan , ni duduk luar main fon , bacala rsm ke rpk ke hafal benda tu" i was like hello , my rsm and rpk note dlm fon. hmmm sabo jela sis. so masukla dewan dengar taklimat dia blabla,.dekat dalam tu jugak u will have to register yourself and get a tag, red for auto. blue/green/yellow for manual. so i got mine and it looks like this

SESI 3WEH SESI 3 KAU FAHAM TAK SESI 3 LAMA GILA MEREPUT MCM BANGANG sbb ramai sangat manusia. imagine jela that time ada 300 manusia. so yea , i balik petang kot time tu adoi, oke so , dapat je tag pegawai jpj akan suruh u pegi either litar dulu or jalan raya dulu. i dapat buat litar dulu , oke pegi la dekat pondok menunggu kan. first thing macam biasa la buat rpk and rsm. weh ni sumpah i culture shock gila, PLS KNOW THAT JPJ TAK DENGAR PUN KAU BUAT CAKAP APA HAHAHSGDUWE. yknow situation dia mcm , theres like 3 to 4 kereta and then one kereta is for 2 people on which is sorg buat rsm sorg buat rpk and then tukarla, benda kan.... u tak habis buat lagi jpj cakap "okay semua dah boleh  balik" balik means go to pondok balik la. I MEAN DO U GET IT HAHAHAH. mumble pun takpe bukan depa dengar so dont worry kalau u tak hafal hahahha. 

habis je kena tunggu for ur turn buat litar. suasana dia for the first time memang of course nervous sangat ya allah. orang jerit sana sini, you will see orang fail sana sini. jantung ni takmo relax langsung. dah selawat pun still gitu. adoi la nina sabrina. after a while tunggu , its my turn. OH F F F ITS MY TURN. dengan bismillah masukla dalam kereta. *stillselawat* jpj arahkan gerak. pls ingat turutan mana kena pergi.

1. bukit

2. ramp for auto

3. side parking

4. 3pointer

5. selekoh z

6. selekoh s

lafaz bismillah lagi , i pun gerak naik bukit. oke lulus. go to the ramp. ni i macam bengong gakla, actually before u start bukit tu kena betulkan la dulu side mirror semua but i forgot so time buat ramp tu baru terkial kial nak betulkan mirror sbb kita byk tgk line la apa la. and then jpj dekat pondok atas marah "KAU BUAT APA LEMBAB TAK GERAK2 LAGI" well , my mistake. hahaha ok ramp lulus. 

side parking. buat la macam biasa mcm cikgu ajar la kan. AND THEN time tu body kereta tgh nak masuk kotak la ni. sekali...... jpj jerit drpd jauh "KAU KELUAR" the moment jpj suruh keluar mmg fail la tu. I MEAN WHY WHAT HAPPENED ????? i just positive jela keluar without amik beg but then org imkeda keluarkan my bag and gave it to me and then jumpa la jpj and he said i fail. i langgar line kuning. pale otak la. aku buat mcm  biasa je d0w.. tahla tkde rezeki. pastu tu jela u takkan dapat buat the rest of the elements. repeat nanti pun kena buat the whole litar again  and yknow i nangis teruk sangat sbb fikir kalau fail nk repeat nanti dah kena bayar lagi. bukan murah.......

*stillnangis* pegila pondok tempat berkumpul memula tadi utk buat jalan raya. while im waiting for turn yg lama nak mampos tu i cried nonstop. orang semua pandang but idgaf so y bother. tengah2 tunggu akak dkt situ kata pegi rest dulu sambung sesi lepas solat jumaat. oh yea time tu hari jumaat so pegila solat dulu dkt surau. ya allah time tu baru stop nangis. tenang sikit lepas solat. 

fast forward ⇒⇒

and finally its my turn, before masuk bagila salam dekat jpj. okay yang ni rsm u kena buat bebetul. settle rsm , tgk jpj kalau dia tk pakai seatbelt pls pls pls mntak dia pakai sbb kadang dia sajaeeee nak trap korang. and then , GO GO GO. and pls know that signal is veeeery vvvery veeeryyy important. time bwk tu , ya allah nervous sangat weh. the thoughts of kalau fail lagi im so done. so i bwk dgn sangat berhati hati. slow gila bapak. tak bwk dkt highway lagi dah fail hahabxywdbj.

WHY ?

one of it bcs actually down sebab fail litar. tak sangka dia punya down tu affect on the road jugak. adoi and yea as i said before i bawak terlalu berhati hati sampaikan nak keluar simpang tu i pusing steering sikit sangat smpai masuk lane sebelah. terus jpj cakap "berhenti tepi" i swear i cant hold my tears so i menangis dkt situ jugak. time sign paper tu jpj cakap "laa litar pun fail ke ? pakcik muka garang sangat ke ? pakcik tak makan orang la" allahu baik rupanya and ofc dengan muka tak tahu malu i nangis mintak tak boleh bagi another chance ke. and he said he cant. balik tu jpj la bawak and then dia leh tanya pasal my perents job la apa la. i ni dahla extra sensitive kalau tanya pasal family. lagi banjir la dekat situ. 

duduk depan office while waiting for cikgu datang and yes , crying. member kiri kanan pun buntu cane nak pujuk. yang lelaki dekat tepi2 bangang. kawalla nk tgk aku nangis pun. obvious gila hahahhahha mampos la time tu fikir duit je nak repeat nanti.

cikgu sampai2 je dia pun mcm tak expect how i boleh fail bcs normally i did well. she said "takpela , first time ni mungkin sebab nervous. 2nd time nanti dah tahu suasana dia semua mesti boleh buat" so she set date for another jpj test on 21 MARCH. a week after result spm hhahsahsbqkwd. 

makan tido makan tido makan tido hahahahahhahhahaha that day has come.

MY SECOND JPJ TEST.

pagiku bermula seperti biasa solat mntak dipermudahkan everything and datang imkeda and benda sama i tak payah ulang. while waiting for my turn weirdly memang betul apa ckgu cakap its not as nervous as before. agak tenang la mungkin jugak sbb manusia tak seramai haritu. when its my turn , masuk dalam kereta and first thing to do betulkan side and back mirror, seat betulkan , and pakai seatbelt. bukit , ramp alhamdulillah okay. side parking hahahahhha my nightmare. dengan lafaz bismillah ingat balik semua step and yessss lulus ! and  continue with 3pointer. pun okay , time ni ya allah alhamdulillah sangat sangat sbb tinggal selekoh je on which is yg i tak reti langsung dulu i dah pandai hehe soooo buat la both selekoh z and selekoh s. OKAY WEH YA ALLAH ALHAMDULILLAH I LULUS LITAR !! 

when its time to do jalan raya , okay simpang memula tu i lepas dengan berjaya. so drive la dengan penuh berhemah. sampai je simpang kedua nak keluar masuk jalan besar mmg seram la kan kereta laju drpd kanan. sebelum ni biasa cikgu yg guide bila leh masuk semua. and agak lama jugak nak cari timing boek before masuk. yang kereta belakang i leh tahan bangang. dah sah sah dkt kereta ada sign JPJ.Pemandu sedang diuji. tapi dok hon sbb i lembab masuk jalan. kau bangang ke. ay aku sabar jela. jpj dekat sebelah diam jela rasanya dia nk tgk i gelabah ke tak but hehe beryukur jugak sbb tenang je tk mcm haritu and okay perjalan diteruskan. 

alhamdulillah semuanyaaa dipermudahkan. 

 LULUS !

my tips is that jangan nervous ! kalau nervous memang macam i la jadinya , otak ke lain , tak dapat focus. so, for muslims , doa mintak dekat allah supaya permudahkan and lancarkan segalanya. ingat ! , bukan senang nak dapat lesen sekarang , ada sorang ni i jumpa sampai 3kali repeat jpj. so goodluck yang mana nak hadap jpj tu <3

tak lupa dekat kawan semua and family yang doakan hehe ❤

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love-hate friendship

wihii am i take long time to update stories about what i promised in the last post ? ops sorreyy i just have so much thoughts going in my mind and probably take some time to rest and make time for myself. yknow ? on where u would just lock yourself up and find yourself back. am i getting emotional here ? nah , itcant be help also. right now im typing this is on 2.35am. "weh bapak lambat kau tidur" ikr ? tak tahu la pasaipa hahaha.

 okei ! lets just go straight to our main topic for today shall we ? i introduce my favourite ultimate friend of all time before , now and in the future. i hope so. kan ?

jeng jeng , i introduce : from left ; nuty , bal , nurin and hey thats me , halo :)

nak cerita pasal diorang ni might take so long and idk whether i can finish this in one go but lets have a try. hm who should i start first ? okla i'll start from the most paling manja , stubborn as well yet so soft but quite annoying can be so gedik at the same time but the most prettiest among us. who could it be ? jengjeng

kan mata sembab gila kan. this picture was taken from majlis restu day on where semua mintak maaf dengan cikgu and getting their restu bcs ofc la if both students and teachers hold grudges susah la nak jawab spm kan. so ini la muka muka baru lepas nangis so just abaikan okies. 

nuty or lebih tepatnya , puteri nurul atikah. celah mana datang nuty ? hahahhaha ada macam nama childish gila tak. if so then ure right that name came when we were in elementary school. that time me , nuty and another fren called amy. omg by saying their names makes me crazily missed everything. so the story was when we decided to think out our nickname to put it on our secretdiarybook HAHAHAH aku dah kata kan time tu anak anak lagi hahaha. amy was called namy and me nisa bcs i just mixed my front and back name while atikah until now were called nuty bcs idk it just fits her perfectly. so the idea was all by her but we did give some ideas right amy ? nu comes from nurul while ty(ti) comes from atikah. clear ? hahahha bapak rindu zaman dolo dolo weh.

disebabkan noob , size gambar medium la eh hahaha

our friendship starts when she first moved to cj and became a new student in our school and yet she was placed in a same class with me. yknow what ? to be honest i was really a bad girl back then. i just hate semua budak baru and suka bully other students, lelaki paling teruk la i used to cubit them smpai lebam dorg kata hahahahah sooryyy i was quite immatured and childish. nak percaya ke tanak percaya ke asudohler. im takling the truth. so nak dijadikan ceritanya time depa ni pindah sini oo mai benci betul aku dengan sura kecik dengan gedik eh eh menyampahnya aku. andddd she happened to sit infrontof me weh peh boiling je aku. and that one situation yg aku still ingat smpai skrg hahaha ni serious kelakar. im also a very ego person jugak dulu. so the thing is this kid try to ask me questions in what she didnt know la kan pstu aku boleh buat tak tahu je weh jahat gila hahahah pstu , depa ni pi la mntak tolong dekat member yg duduk seblah aku , haaaa time tu la aku rasa pride aku tercalar so aku dengan shamelessnya rasa hebat gila ttbe semak pi ajak orang tu , tadi kemain sombong. hahahha klako bowdow. and blabla i keep on hated her with amy and blabla i cant remember how we got sooo closed but yea we were very strong in friendship but now its just not like the good old days. its started when amy dapat tawaran masuk asrama and- dahla tanak cakap dah.

this gal nuty ni , a very crybaby as  can see down here :

 tapi quite stubborn. kau mungkin tak nampak tapi we as her friends we know. if nothing goes right mula la nak rebel. tegoq sikit tanak dengar. keras kepala. macam batu kot ? but a very manja type. cuma aku ni geli sikit nak manja manja ni ee. and she is also the veeeery what should i say , famous in school ? kau jalan la dengan dia ada je jr2 la senior2 la jantan mana tah nak ajak borak bagai. wehhhh tak selesaaaaaaaa wehhhh. memang aku terus bla la jawabnya kan ? what should i say more eh hm. nuty is the person who is actually very fragile weh. make her cry and you'll face theree of us. and im happy for u like at last u get to step out from school bcs all rumors and all the messes just makes u hurt and we were all hurting too. and as an advice that im gonna tell u is that , stop getting urself in trouble can u ? but if it is pun , tell us. we can go through it together. okeeei ? solat jangan tinggal , mengaji jangan lupa , ingat tu nuty , andddddd most important is , god wouldnt test us beyond our capabilities so stay strong and face anything of what might come strongly and jangan lemah sangat okei ! to end stories up with dis gal , i am glad to have u in my life, so if u need any help or advice come to me or others who u can rely on. hehe 

baapaaaaaaaaaaaak laaaaa nuty je dah panjang gila. itu pun sebenarnya banyak lagi watehek.

oh another thing is yg seriously so annoying engko tahu tak ? hari hari kau takkan sah kalau tak dengar dia cakap "wehhh muka aku dah terukk , weh muka aku , jangan pandang aku , aku tak pakai conceler harini , muka aku buruk gila" nak kena makan penumbuk tak nuty ? oh and also this "weh aku dah gemook" ni seriouuusssssss aku nak mengaamuuukkkkkk kALAU KAU GEMOK AKU NI APA HA. kau kalau badan kau naik pun , jangan memekak kata kau gemuk depan aku. diam. and to be very honest , what so bad about gaining fats and weight ? i mean for u la. ure thin as hell. kalau org tegur dah gemok ke apa bukan that kind of gemok tau. its just healthy. aku ni yang kena diet. dah diam.

and another fact is that , even dah 7years , gambar proper susah nak ada weh. kalau ada pun muka derp la , angle tak betulla , nampak gemok la , nampak pendek , lighting tak kena la. as example si nuty ni tak reti duduk diam as u can see above. tapi kadang muka aku yg selalu derp hahahha

 i think im done with u so 

im gonna proceed with nurin , jjajan

haah sepet je dis gal ni.ada chinese mixed weh. ni lagi sorang jadi mangsa kena benci dengan aku sebab budak baru punya pasal hahaha. tapi memang layak kena benci pun hahahhaha okei ah dengar reasons aku dolo.

• muka bapak over kerek nak mati
• jalan mendada asf-
• masuk masuk sch terus cpl dgn budak agak famous. lol tapi aku tk pernah minat dat boy tu weh like i just cant understandwhy people go crazy abt him hahahah mungkin zaman anak anak kot.
• tiba tiba jadi gang pengawas padahal tak pun , semak je dalam bilik pengawas
• okei ni paling benci buat aku benci sebenci benci nya. DIA BOLEH AMIK TEMPAT AKU DALAM KELAS USAHA TU.

PLEASE DONT SAY ANYTHING HAHAHAHAH THAT WAS WAAAAYY DECADES AGO HAHHAHA I POST THIS TO SHOW YALL HOW NURIN IS ACTUALLY QUEITLY HATE ME ALSO LOOK AT HOW DENGKI SHE IS DEKAT BELAKANG TU HAHAHAH

SORRY  NURIN I CANT BRING MYSELF DOWN ALONE HAHAHAHAH

okei so the story was like thissss hahahahahahha nurin qistina nama diberi. depa ni daripada penang so mai pindah cj mi tk tahu pasaipa. dia niiiiiiii dia niiii pindah sini time darjah 5 sama la macam nuty tu. okei la blabla aku nampak dia pun dh memang tak suka so smpai la akhir tahun 2011 tiba. time tu my classroom teacher really said like this "kalau imran jadi pindah sekolah tahun depan awak masuk kelas usaha la" on which is kelas usaha is the first class in school. okei ceritanya bermula time imran dah memang pindah tapi nama aku tkde dalam list kelas usaha. taaaapi nama dis nurin qistina ada la pulak. eh bengang la aku. mana taknya , shes in third class weh time tu meanwhile im in first class , how can i lose to a girl like her ? that thought was running in my mind at that time. yela try to be in my shoes and u will feels what i feel. tak pasal pasal aku jatuh kelas. seb bek kelas kedua jela. hahaha that was start of everything. since then idk that my hatred towards her will be dragged along to highschool and makes other trouble.

jeng jeng masuk la kedalam dunia high school. so far kelas sama dengan dia tkde apa sangat so far so good. all those bad history started on 2014. omg i remember it so clearly but lets just not bring it up here. it was way superb childish and cant be accepted. just know that we had a really bad fights and i think most of our batch knew it. right nurin ? hahahah kelakar bila ingat balik. since that fights jugak i lost most of my friends. my grades drop real bad and it was really a mess la weh. but yknow what , some people nak erase all those bad memories , but for me , even it is pun , that helps u grow and be matured and even teach you about life. so im kinda glad and proud of myself that i managed to go through all of those disaster situations in that year.

ttup ttup eh dah senior year , after all the fight in 2014 , ofc la memang susah gak nak berbaik. dia ni pulak ada masalah trust-issue. oi its not good tau , slowly ubah laaaaaaaa pleaaaaseeeeeeeee. siapa kata tkde sape nak kawan dgn kau ? tak faham kau ? kau yang tanak open up then how should we know ?!?!?! eee sepak kang. learn to trust ur own friends okay ? honest idk why but u should have ur own reason to close ur heart but still , cant u see theres act so much people care abt u cuma kadang every person have their own way okies ?

anddd what funny about nurin ni kan hahahah i can guarantee yall wont stop laughing when u spend time with her. she is the most like entertainer to us. never fails to make us laugh at hard times. paling best bila ajak lepak. and dont yall ever said she is fierce and blabla its just her face weh for god sake hahahah she is the mooost loving and caring and pr0tective ever. she always call helsef as mak so i geuss her actions are becoming more and more like a mom indeed. hehe apa yg kita cakap tu doa tau gais.

dah la kot eh

anddddddd the very last oneeee is jengjengjeng 

engko nampak tak how irritatednya aku ? dis is the gal yang paaaalinggg i rapat out of all these people. idk things just get natural when im with her. everything seems not as tough as it could be. yet , she can be very annoying , other than nuty she is the one who is just very manja and gedik. gedik nak mampos. omg i tell yall when elementary school no joke weh. ee gedik gila. alhamdulillah sekarang dah kuat lepas selalu kena dengan nurin dengan aku but most of it nurin la , as i said , mommy kan ? hahahah 

bal is the right one.

maaf la bal , i just pust everyone's noob pictures i cant leave u alone right ? hahaha ni pun okei lagi , kalau aku amik from fb kau lagi best kot hahaha , bal is the one who is obsessed with pink and cant resist over cute things. and that is really a waste of money. idk la what to say more eh bal. i spend most of my time with u so... i jusut cant say anything im just bosan kot muka kau je hahahahahahah takde la.

depa ni i dont have any specific to highlight. kenal dolo dolo pun gitu gitu jela zaman pss. ohhh okei i teringat something. duluuuu hahaha aku rasa bapak insecure nak rapat dengan kau weh bal. zaman zaman baru nak up form1 dulu leh kata hot gak ah en. najwa latif my ass HAHAH. bal zaman zaman hakak koop zaman cantik lagi , sekarang buruk. aite , kidding okies.

okei ah bal , kau punya janji belanja makanan aku masih menunggu ni tau hehehehhe.

 bal , even if i didnt describe u as much as i did to nurin and nuty just know that i love u so much okay , thankyou for aways being concern and hearing all my worrines and facing my tough or emotional day.. i am now also assuming that u are my sissy as well. macam geli je. dah la tu. serious do bal takde idea do nak cakap apa dow. dah idea balik aku edit eh hahahha mowah.

as conclusion

i love those three so muchhhhhhhhhh , tak terkata weh , i may not say everything here but maybe bcs im lacking ofremembering things.hehe. and i just wanna said that thankyou for these wonderful 5years of high-school memories. im gonna treasure it so much. all the hardworks , fights , ups and downs , prettines , uglines , crying and anger , happy , sad and sorrowful was such a long journey right ? we gone through so much things to get pretty closed like this. from all the trust-issues and all the dengki(s) towards each other. i swear yall are the best things that ever happened to me. im sorry for being me as well. i might lack much things and ofc theres in me that u cant take it such as my moodswings ? hahhaha well im trying to improve it sooo endure it a bit more okies. till then , nurin balik cj cepatpls , jangan lama sangat duduk penang. i might have so much ideas bcs if u want t know i didnt sleep this night just to finished up these. kalau tadi start around 2 then right now is 5.31am.

OMG yall need to appreciate this no matter what ookay ?! hiks till then baibai ❤

have fun with nurin's imitation of sajat hehe

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