Late Night Thoughts

assalamualaikum and hye

 its been so long but today im not gonna talk too much.

well , im just asking u basically have yall ever felt so hurt like inside of ur heart ?

like its so hurt macam kena tikam pisau ?

well. that happens to me. not all the time. might as well every moments when i felt like im really not good enough and im worrying about lot of things. A LOT. 

especially , now im a university student and i pursue studies far away from my hometown. across the sea. tell me , who will not overthink about lot of things when u are far away from ur family , ur friends , and u are alone, handling things all by yourself. 

i tend to feel so hurt in my chest if im overthinking and worrying things a lil bit too much.

some of it were ;

  what if people dont like me ? the way i behave ? the way i talk ? the way i stare ? 

what if they find me annoying ? what will happen to me if people hate me ? can i survive ? do i have enough money ? can i score for dekan in every semester ? what if i lose focus ? what if i cant perform and cooperate well in group work ?

those things wont stop. and i dont have the control of my mind to even stop thinking about it. truthfully it hurts. i know i shouldnt post these but i just have the tendecy to write this then guess i should just go with it. 

how do u stay strong with that chest pain ?

 as i mentioned , not all the time i feel this. and jarang. depends on when im feeling a lil bit too sad and overthinking about so much things. "dont think la" how easy it is if it was that simple. i dont blame any of u if yall ever said that bcs i know u dont feel it. its ok. guess i should just confront and deal with it. what to do ? i guess if u are reading this , u can like give me some motivations bcs im feeling so down these days idk. 

((might probably delete this later on))

-12:24am